On my 25th birthday, I was a few years into my career and just getting over a really tough breakup and getting back in the dating world...in order to in my mind try to order my steps in my trials I decided to create a list and post it on my blog for discussion. This is also know as my first post that brought the feelings out of my 4 or 5 readers at the time...
Here's the original list...
1. Consistent 2. Confident not Cocky 3. Affectionate 4. Personable 5. Family Oriented
6. Selfless 7. Focused on accomplishing goals 8. Patient 9. Constantly Growing
10. Willing to take Charge 11. Decision Maker 12. Sports Lover 13. Loves to Travel
14. Easy Going not Prissy 15. Money manager 16. Adaptable 17. Thick Skinned
18. Sense of Humor 19. Can Express Emotions 20. Can Cook 21. Effective Communicator
22. Follows Through 23. Mean Shoe Game 24. Non-Smoker 25. Loving
Pretty Detailed I Thought. If I followed this I'd be married in no time I believed. Man...Eff this List. Nothing good ever came of this list. Every woman that I have talked to after this list didn't come close to the 84% I wished to achieve...So now that its 5 years, 1 child, multiple failed relationships later...Let's Come up with a new list shall we? But first...lets cancel out somethings that I thought mattered at 25 that don''t matter at 30...
23...14...are the only two that would definitely need to be omitted because they really don't matter...I know in the last post I talked about not needing to have a type and being more open and receptive to different experiences...but where does wishful thinking stop and having "requirements" begin?
************Gratuitous Mind Spill Begins Now************
- I want a consistent woman because I need to know what to expect most times. Highs and Lows and unpredictability in the name of spontaneity is aggravating.
- Yes, having high self-esteem is very important.
- Can you show love in multiple ways?
- Do you have good friends, ones you can depend on?
- Do you like your family? Do you like my family? Can you depend on them?
- ARE YOU DEPENDABLE?
- Is it always about you and your wants or can you give what you want to receive?
- Are you stagnant? Do you want more for your professional, personal, financial life?
- Can you wait and not be tired by waiting?
- Can you just tell me what you want for dinner?
- Can you just tell me how you really feel and not expect me to read your cotton pickin' mind?
Alright...So maybe I don't need a list...but maybe these questions are what I should be observing when I meet women and court them...or maybe I shouldn't do any of this and just realize that whatever I like at the time is what I should go with and prove ourselves to each other...I don't really know...but then again? Do any of us know anything when it comes to getting it right?