Ask Mr. Coach Wilson Vol. 1

I'm excited you guys! I love when a request from a friend morphs into a vision and then comes to life...I know that sometimes it's hard to generate content to keep a blog original so with your help...this can be a weekly venture...Without further ado...

Dear MCW...
I'm declining marriage. You know I decided against kids a while ago but after the last two years of my life, marriage has bit the dust. I'm also debating committed relationships as well. I find that too often women are expected to conform to a man and To each her own but when you have the wrong man you're left picking up the pieces and often times not really sure of who this new conformed you is. And I don't mean in a "he cheated with my cousin's stepsister's mama" wrong man but a "we enjoy each other but too much is WAY TOO MUCH" wrong man.  Like in my case, "I want a condo, he wants a house" wrong man. Why should either of us have to give up what we want? I don't believe in changing anyone I'm with; if I have to change you then I'm not what you need. So with that being said...the typical American Dream is off the table for me.
What do you think?

Yikes! Put me to the fire right off the jump why don't you! I think the word that comes to mind when I read your question is "change." Change is scary. Its often unpredictable and we are left vulnerable when things don't work out the way we plan. Patience will definitely help you with your apprehension though, be patience that you will be approached by a man who wants to compromise with you You want a condo...he wants a house...How about a Townhouse kinda guy? When you find that man that is willing to work with and accept you for who you truly are and vice versa, making concessions won't have you so afraid to take that important step. –MCW

I'm interested in this guy however I'm starting to get the feeling that the interest isn't mutual. He's friendly with everyone just not me. He isn't rude but never really had much to say to me. I've attempted to start a conversation on a variety of topic but it's like pulling teeth. His response is always short and they don't leave room for me to reply. For example I would ask "how was your day" he'll reply "it was cool". I was waiting for him to ask about my day but maybe I was expecting too much. Let me give you another example. We share mutual friends (none of them know of my interest) I approach the group and joined the conversation. Not only did he stop talking but he held his head down. I tried to engage him in the conversation but I wasn't successful. He just shook his head responding yes or no. He only seems socially awkward around me. Do you think that's his way of saying get lost.

Background Info:-We are both in our 30s-I don't know him well but he doesn't seem to be in a relationship -I don't think he knows I'm interested, I've only expressed my interest to 3 other people (4 now including you)**but there have been times where I could have NOT looked at him so hard. -I'm not overly aggressive but if he's around I'll say hello
What's your take on this...Does he like me or nah? Seriously, I just would like to get to know him better but I get the feeling that he doesn't want to be bothered. I'm asking because my friends thinks he's shy. What do you think?

First off, I wonder who’s really the shy one...you or him?. I think the first step would be for you to actually approach him and inquire about his relationship status. Maybe he's already interested in you and afraid to break the ice. Maybe you rubbed him the wrong way in a prior meeting and he doesn't want to tell you for coming off rude. Thing is we miss 100% of the shots we never take. So instead of waiting for him to break the ice, you take your pic and engage him in a convo or a light lunch where it can be just you two and see what happens. Oh, and STOP STARING! That's Creepy! LOL
MCW

Seems like these days there are helluva lot of brothers with dreads. Looooong ass dreads. But they all, from my experience, are their real hair. By contrast, every beautiful black lady I know (well, not every but work with me here) has got a weave and extensions. What's the deal? :)

Ahhh, this is an easy one! Thing is alot of women are moving towards a more natural state with their hair. No chemicals to straighten it, no heat, etc. It takes ALOT to manage. Finding the right products for their grade of hair is a headache, protective styles to fight the elements are another. Women wear weave for many reasons, some as a stopgap between hair appointments, its really easier to manage, it saves time, and money because you don't have to go to the beauty shop every week. Its a personal preference for some and others don't like it...MCW

Thanks to those who submitted for the first installment of "Ask Mr. Coach Wilson!" I hoped I provided you with some insight to your questions and don't forget to send your questions to mrcoachwilson@gmail.com.

Until Next Time! 
-MCW

Comments

  1. Is it too late to ask a question?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never. Just email me at mrcoachwilson@gmail.com and we'll get on it!

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  2. Good job. For the female asking about the guy...it seems as if he really likes you but may be afraid of rejection. I use to act the same way around females I really liked. Help him out and show him you are not a "maneater"!

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  3. I don't get the vibe that he really likes her. Rejection goes both ways. Even if a man is scared of rejection, he can still make an effort to respond if a woman is attempting to start conversations. I know men and women communicate differently but typically some men will give you something to work with. Sounds like he isn't given her anything.

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